


Toad Trouble

by SpiritScribe



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Princess and the frog reference, Sorta just crack, badly writen crack, gets sort of serious right at the end for a brief moment, inconsistent? epithets? probably, just daft, no real shipping but not saying the aren't all in a relationship either, some bad language but nothing too bad, suggested magical accident, toads the animal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-29 23:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20444336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritScribe/pseuds/SpiritScribe
Summary: A short Princess and the frog crackish one shot. When Prompto and Noctis wake to find a toad in their tend they start to worry that it might be Ignis.Hope it makes a rough amount of sense probably would work better as a daft comic so maybe I will do that some time. Oh and there may be some bad language so let me know if this needs to be bumped to teen because of it. Written mostly for laughs and to write something none explicit for once XD.





	Toad Trouble

Prompto yawned and rubbed his eyes as he woke up in the tent he and his friends had spent the night in. Sunlight was shining through the open tent-flap; a sure sign he should probably get up and rouse the Prince. Though as he glanced at his phone – stretching with his free arm as he did so – he wondered why they hadn’t been woken already for breakfast. As he rolled onto his side he found himself face to face with a frog or toad of some sort. He couldn’t identify it off the bat but it startled him badly. He cried out and pushed away from the creature, crashing into the only other person still asleep in the tent; Noctis.

Noctis was startled awake by this, “Ouch! Damn it Prompto what’s wrong?”

Prompto wiggled off his friend and apologised, “Sorry Noct. There is a… well I think it is a toad, in the tent. It was right in my face. Scared the shit out of me.”

Noctis groaned and sat up with a grumble, “You don’t say.” He stared at the creature then the open tent flap before yawning. He scratched his side as he stated the obvious, “Gladio left the flap open again when he went for his morning run and this little guy just hopped on in. Iggy is gonna throw a fit.”

Prompto edged towards the ‘toad’ presuming he was going to have to be the one to usher the creature out as the Prince didn’t look like he was going to make any attempt to. “Yeah. Where is Iggy though? I thought he would be making breakfast by now but I can’t smell any cooking.” He wondered if it would be better to grab the toad and toss it out or if he could just scare it towards the door. “Ugh its on the pillow Ignis usually uses. He really is going to be mad.”

As Prompto wondered his best course of action the Prince pushed past behind him to lean his head out of the tent. Not Gladio out there. Had Ignis gone on a run with the Shield. It wasn’t impossible but if he had the tent wouldn’t be open surely. Maybe he’d gone out to gather things before Gladio left for his run. Well with neither Shield or Advisor around he could go back to sleep. Thinking he’d just let Prompto deal with their uninvited guest and get some more rest, he pulled his head back inside the tent only hear some odd sounds.  
It was an odd noise like someone throwing-up or spitting something out, only not quite. It was a slightly wet sound what ever it was. It was also quickly accompanied and partly drown out by Prompto’s panicked voice.

“Oh Ah! I didn’t do anything! Noct something’s wrong with the toad.” Prompto was watching in horror as the toad he’d been reaching for opened its mouth and forced out its stomach content out – in a way Prompto wished he’d never see again because it looked like the creature’s insides were trying to come out with what ever it was regurgitating.

Noctis stared in alarm at the toad as it re-swallowed its stomach and sat peacefully once more. Both he and Prompto then looked at the item the toad had spat out. It seemed to be a piece of paper and it was covered in something neither of them wanted to touch. However one word while smudged was clear enough. It said ‘Ignis’.

Prompto stared at the toad, “That has to just be a note from Ignis right and this toad just happened to eat it. Just weird chance it got spat out like that right.”

Noctis frowned, “Do toads just eat anything? Even paper? I’m just gonna give Ignis a call.”  
He dialled Ignis’ number but the response he got made his eyes go wide. He lowered the phone staring at it, “What the hell it didn’t go through. Not even to voice mail and it didn’t say that it was busy either.”

Prompto was becoming more concerned now, “Well we’ve never tried to call each other when one of us has been ‘Toaded’ before. Maybe that is just how it works.”

Noctis pouted and looked at the toad; studying the patterns on its skin and its eyes trying to determine if the creature really was Ignis. He supposed some of the patterns did look a bit like glasses around the eyes but he’d never really paid much attention to how Ignis looked when he’d been ‘toaded’ in the past. The toad just stared back.  
“Maybe… We should check the note? After all if he was going out he could have left us a text message but he didn’t. Maybe his phone is just acting up.”

Prompto made a face, “Dude I really don’t want to touch that… but you are probably going to throw your princely weight around. Here goes…” He sighed and reached for the paper tentatively. He half expected the toad to jump away but it just sat still watching him pick up the paper. He questioned himself as to if it was normal behaviour for just a regular toad.  
With a shudder he un-scrunched the message and tried to read the words on the soggy paper. “Ugh is says something about ‘going out’ and ‘being back’ ah… umm oh and ‘Gladio’. Maybe he told Gladio where he was going.”

Noctis nodded, “We best go ask him. ‘Toading’ doesn’t usually last this long anyway so that can’t be Iggy…” Just as he spoke the nickname the toad let out a loud croak and jumped at the pair.

Prompto screamed and flung himself backwards, “Ah you made him mad!”

Noctis fell backwards as Prompto fell on top of him once again. “Ugh damn it Prompto! Again really.” He managed to groan out but he was pretty winded. He opened his eyes to see that the toad was sitting on top of Prompto’s chest. Prompto was laying across Noct’s middle. He glared up at the toad that seemed to be looking down at him. “Shit… smug little bastard. You aren’t Ignis are you?” The toad just let out a croak in response to Noctis and he sighed. Could someone get stuck ‘toaded’?

Prompto groaned, “We’ve been out manoeuvred.”

Noctis rolled his eyes but before he could say anything or make a move to get both toad and friend off him, Gladio’s poked his head into the tent.  
“What is with all the yelling I thought someone was being murdered.” Came the gruff voice. Noctis couldn’t see Gladio from his position but Prompto could.

Prompto pointed at the toad on his chest and Gladio laughed, “Looks like you caught your own breakfast… or it caught you.”

Prompto sat up violently, winding Noctis again slightly by pushing up off him, and using reflexes he rarely showed outside of combat caught the toad carefully in his hands. He looked scandalised, “What?! No way man. I’m not eating this little guy. Besides it might be Ignis!”

Gladio gave Prompto a weird look but stared hard at the toad, “Well it does have Ignis’ general look of disapproval and it does like it wearing glasses. I’d say there is a passing resemblance.”

Prompto nodded, “Right!”

Noctis clutched his stomach, “Ugh… Iggy told you where he was going right? We can’t reach him.”

Gladio bit his lower lip and looked away, “Well he didn’t exactly say. Just that he had errands to run and would be back at some point.” He didn’t think that the toad was Ignis but it didn’t mean it couldn’t be. “If you really want to make sure then why don’t we take it to Sania. She should be able to tell the difference between a regular toad and someone who has been cursed into a toad.”

Prompto and Noctis shared a look and nodded. Gladio chuckled, “Okay well then you best get fully dressed. Noct will have to drive. I’ll take care of the toad for now.” He reached out for the creature and Prompto reluctantly handed it over.  
While the other two got dressed and packed up the camp Gladio studied the toad. He shook his head, “Iggy huh… You and me are gonna have some fun buddy.” The toad seemed to narrow its eyes, “Don’t look at me like that. You’ll make me start think you really are Ignis.” It did almost seem like the amphibian was giving him a disapproving look but it was probably just mid slow blink moistening its eyes.

Once they were ready to go Gladio handed the toad back to Prompto, “You better keep a goo hold of him. I don’t think he’ll survive falling out of a car like that. Oh but don’t crush him either.”

Prompto looked panicked as he got into the car. “I’d say put up the roof but him getting loose in the car probably wouldn’t be good either. Maybe we could put him in the armiger?”

Noctis frowned as he started the car, “I may have put other animals in there but I’m not sure what it would do to a human mental state. I don’t think I want to risk it. It might make the change permanent if he is Ignis. You are just going to have to hold onto him.”

Prompto smiled nervously, “Ah.. okay… Hey Iggy buddy if you are Iggy. Please be good okay? I’ll try not to hold you too tight but you have to behave.” The toad wiggled a little, “Ah please no!” The toad let out a croak and gave up. “This is not good for my heart.”

Gladio stifled a laugh and Noctis concentrated on the road. He hoped to get to the bottom of this soon. Ignis could have taken a chocobo somewhere but it would be safer to take the car surely. Of course he could have been trying to be polite. After all the car was more convenient for more people.

Gladio had called ahead to Sania and gotten her current location for Noct to drive to. Once they were there they saw her waiting. Gladio took the toad from the shaken Prompto. He’d been nervous the whole journey. Once the car had stopped he had slumped in his seat. “Next time you hold onto him.”  
Gladio shook his head, “Look I’m gonna take him over to her myself you guys can wait here as it might take a bit. As if this is a spell then she might have to work out a way for us to break it. Besides I have some other stuff to discuss with her.”

Noct rolled his eyes as Gladio walked away, “He is going to flirt no doubt.”

Prompto pouted, “Must be nice having all the girls.”

As Gladio approached her Sania smiled and held her hands out for the toad, “So this is the little guy they think might be Ignis.”

Gladio handed the toad over with a chuckle and watched Sania check it over.

“Yep just as you thought just a regular toad.” Sania shook her head.

Gladio sighed with relief, “Well that is what I thought but good to know. As I still worry sometimes with him being off on his own right now. Though he should be in good hands. He got a lift off Cindy to get his errands done and I don’t think she’d ask him to do anything he couldn’t manage on his own in repayment.” He got a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “Oh but don’t tell them.” He gestured back at Noctis and Prompto, “I want to have a little fun. So just play along okay.”

Sania raised an eyebrow but shrugged as she put the toad in a container with air holes, “You’ll be wanting this back then. A shame as it really does have a nice pattern but it is probably best it goes back where it was found.”

Gladio nodded and together they headed back to where Noctis and Prompto were waiting. Gladio schooled his expression into one that was serious and concerned.

“Back news. Looks like it is Ignis.” Gladio told the pair and watched their eyes go wide.

Sania piped in, “Sadly I don’t have any means to change him back. If he doesn’t respond to any potions or toad resistance items then I’m not sure what else to try. Hopefully though one of those things will work. Of course it might just need time.”

“Well we better go make camp and see if we can find a way to reverse this.” Gladio handed the boxed up toad to Prompto who looked at it sadly. “Thanks Sania. I’ll let you know how it goes.” Gladio told the biological engineer and snuck her a cheeky wink while the other two were getting back in the car.

“Don’t worry buddy we’ll get you back to normal.” Prompto told the toad. He then looked at Noctis, “We will won’t we?”

Noctis frowned feeling concerned about his advisor. He hoped that it would be an easy enough fix. He hadn’t really expected the toad to turn out to be Ignis. Still despite how he felt he wanted to reassure his friend, “Of course. Perhaps it might even just wear off on its own. Then we can tell him off properly for going off on his own.”  
He then started the car and drove off. Gladio suggested they go back to the camp they’d woken up at as something to do with the area might give them some sort of clue as to why the curse was lingering.

Once they got back to the camp and set back up, Prompto and Noctis began trying different items and potions in an effort to de-toad ‘Ignis’. Meanwhile Gladio collected some things to make the toad more comfortable for its say, while pretending to look for clues. When he put the stuff in the container he told the others they might as well make sure ‘Ignis’ was kept comfortable in his current form. Didn’t want him to get sick.

A couple of hours passed and Noctis and Prompto had run out of things to try. They had tried things in a rush at first then thought about maybe having to keep items on the toad for longer. The toad made things tricky by trying to eat said items from time to time.  
“No Iggy that isn’t food.” Prompto would chastise the toad with a sigh.

They had even tried to look for some clues with Gladio but couldn’t find any. It wasn’t even if there were enemies around that could inflict toad. So all they could speculate was that perhaps Ignis had run into some new sort of enemy, perhaps a magitec and that the toad status it could inflict was much stronger.

Noctis kicked on of the chairs at the camp before sitting down in a huff, “Is there nothing we can do? Does it require something like twenty four hours? I know Sania said it might just need time but it doesn’t make me worry any less.” He put his hands on his face. To hide how worried he was.

Prompto was crouched by the table where they had sat the container and was looking at ‘Ignis’ through the clear sides of it. “Maybe. If Ignis was in human form we could try cooking up a cure that way too but we’d probably just cause a bigger mess or make it worse.”

Gladio did feel a little bad that he was dragging this out but it had at least kept the two occupied. Still he should probably play his final card. He didn’t want them to suffer much longer. He’d tell them once his little plan was wrapped up.  
He cleared his throat, “Well we could try thinking outside the box. When I was a kid I remember reading a book about a Prince getting turned into a frog. A toad is kinda close.”

Prompto perked up, “Oh I know that story! The princess and the frog! All she had to do was kiss the frog and it turned into a handsome prince.”

Gladio was relieved that Prompto remembered the nicer version as the other version involved a fair bit more violence towards the frog.

Noctis frowned, “Even if something out of fairy tale would work, where are we going to find a princess.”

Glaido looked at Noctis meaningfully but it was Prompto that took the hint.

“Oh! Yeah well it doesn’t have to be a Princess does it? I mean maybe it just takes Royal blood. You have all sorts of other special royal powers so maybe healing kisses might also be one!” Prompto’s voice was full of excitement, “I mean I’d suggest Luna with all her Oracle powers but we can’t really get hold of her right now…”

Noctis grimaced, “Well I guess it couldn’t hurt to try. Though I’m not sure this is a great idea. After all it is all fantasy and kissing a toad is a bit… eww.”

Prompto shrugged, “Yeah but if I was a prince I’d try for Ignis.”

Noctis stood up, “I didn’t say I wouldn’t just that I’m totally going to have to wash my mouth then lecture Ignis.”

Gladio chuckled, “You doing the lecturing for once. That is something I have to see.” Things were going just as planned. He wondered if he should break the news before or after the Prince kissed the toad.

Prompto scooped up ‘Ignis’, “Okay buddy, don’t be shy.”

The toad wiggled a bit as it was lifted head level for Noctis to kiss. The Prince’s expression twitched as he looked right into the toad’s face. He was going to ask to skip veggies for a month at least for doing this. He closed his eyes and started to lean in.  
Gladio waited with baited breath for Noctis to get right in close. He was about to tell the Prince the truth before the fateful kiss but he got distracted by an approaching figure. His moment of distraction led to Noctis actually briefly locking lips with the toad before both Prince and Prompto were startled by a familiar voice.

“What on earth is going on here? Why is Noctis kissing a toad?” Ignis asked in utter confusion as to what he had just witnessed.

Prompto’s eyes went wide and he looked from Ignis to the toad, “Huh? Ignis??”

Ignis frowned, “Yes? An explanation please.”

Noctis was too shocked to say or do anything. He then suddenly started to wipe at his mouth, “We thought that… damn it I just kissed a real toad.”

Prompto elaborated, “Ah well this toad was in the tent, and we couldn’t get hold of you. It spat up this note you left and reacted when we called it Iggy. So we took it Sania and she confirmed it was you but obviously it can’t be you because you are you… Okay now I am confused.”

Ignis felt like he was getting a headache. He glared straight at Gladio who was doing his best to hold in his laugher, “This is your fault isn’t it. You left the flap open and then you got Sania to lie for you.”

Noctis hearing the deep chuckles starting up behind him he whirled towards Gladio, “YOU DICK! I’m gonna warp strike you into the next world!”

Gladio backed away from Noctis who was taking swings at the Shield, “S-sorry but it was such a good opportunity. They are the ones that totally glazed over when you told them where you’d be today.”

Ignis sighed, “Yes well that is why I left a note and asked you to remind them.”

Prompto was still holding the toad, “He said you hadn’t said exactly where you’d be. He really had us duped. Punish him Ignis.”

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose, “You really thought this toad looked anything like me.” He stared at the toad. “Honestly… I guess this is what Noct gets for ignoring me.”

Noctis stopped trying to attack Gladio and looked at Ignis with a hurt expression, “Hey!” He pouted, “I just was distracted you could have left a phone message. Why couldn’t I reach you anyway?”

Gladio pointed at Noctis again, “That would be your fault again Prince Charmless.”

Noctis pulled a face, “What?”

Prompto made an ‘oh’ face, “Ah right the Ramuh. You did briefly mention your phone was acting up after that. I thought it ended up being fine.”

Ignis sighed, “So did I but it suddenly blinked out on me a few hours later. It was an easy enough fix for the right person but it was finding a moment to get if fixed. Which leads me to where I was today. You really didn’t notice me not using it for the last few days. Maybe if I’d stated louder that Cindy would be giving me a list one of you would have listened.” He gave Prompto a meaningful look and the blonde shrank away slightly.

Noctis protested, “Okay so we should listen better but you shouldn’t have been using your phone the middle of a fight.”

Ignis narrowed his eyes, “You shouldn’t use an Astral summon on low level monsters just because you are bored and there was a lot of them. As the fight was so easy I thought it would be safe enough to take a quick important call. Some information that could be useful to us but I wanted to make sure before informing your highness.”

Noctis folded his arms grumpily, “I kissed a toad for you… because I was worried… and you just want to tell me off…”

Ignis smiled softly, “I’m very thankful for the gesture. Even if you probably shouldn’t go around kissing toads even if you could turn them into people. The secretions some release can be quite toxic.”

Noctis and Prompto started to panic. “OH SHIT!” They said together.

Gladio laughed, “Don’t worry I wouldn’t have let you risk kissing it if it wasn’t safe to do so. Just wash your mouth out.”

Ignis glared at Gladio again, “Don’t think just because the Prince partly brought this foolishness on himself, that you are off the hook. You still broke many stipulations we agreed upon. Noctis has already been punished enough but I’ll have to decide how to deal with you.”

While Gladio protested, Noctis grinned smugly and Prompto did his best not to draw attention to himself. He didn’t want to get punished for his own inability to listen to Ignis’ message. They probably shouldn’t play King’s Knight while Ignis is informing them on the next day’s plans. He looked at the toad in his hands.

“What are we going to do with you now Iggy Jr.” Prompto tensed up as he felt eyes on him. He’d accidental said that aloud. He turned to see the real Ignis looking rather pissed, “It is the glasses pattern around the eyes and the way he looks so disapproving… and oh man I shouldn’t have said that…”

Ignis took a calming breath, “Prompto put the toad somewhere it can hop on its merry way. I think it has been harassed enough and we are certainly in no position to keep a pet. Then you are going to wash up and help me make something for us to eat.”

Prompto nodded, “Sure thing! I’ll get on that right a way.” He hurried off to release the toad but before he did, he took a sneaky photo of the toad once he was out of sight of the others.

Ignis punished Gladio by taking away the new romance novel he’d been hoping to read. It was hard to get hold of because the current situation and it was the final volume of an ongoing series that he was desperate to find out what happened at the end of. Ignis wasn’t sure when he would give it back but Gladio would just have to wait after making Prompto and Noctis worry so much. Prompto was given random tasks, sometimes rather suddenly. Prompto suspected he was being punished more for openly speaking about likeness between Ignis and the toad rather than not listening to any information. Noctis had been as Ignis said ‘punished enough’ but Prompto also felt that it had helped that Noctis had kissed a toad in an effort to help what he believed was Ignis. Prompto would have done the same thing in Noct’s position but it was a little hard to prove that after the fact. Still Prompto didn’t mind his punishment too much because he still had the picture. One night when Noctis and he were still awake once the other two had fallen asleep beside them in the tent he showed Noctis the photo and whispered,  
“It really does look rather like Ignis.”

Noctis had to stifle a snort of laughter as he looked at the seemingly annoyed expression on the toad’s face. With the markings around its eyes it really sold the idea that it could be Ignis in toad form. “Maybe they share a kindred spirit.” He whispered back.

“Yeah.” Prompto put the camera away, “Noct if one of us really were to get turned into a toad and stuck would you try the whole kiss thing again just in case?”

Noctis closed his eyes, “It was really gross. So I might not bother for Gladio unless I find it me to forgive him but yeah. Honestly I’d kiss any amount of toads if it would help you guys.”

Prompto smiled and closed his eyes too, “Thanks buddy.”

Noct found himself grinning too. A warm feeling filling his chest, though there was the faint sting of tears in the corners of his eyes. He thought if only protecting everyone just required him having to kiss toads he’d be happy enough to kiss them for eternity. However things were not as simple as that particularly softened fairy tale. Still he’d do what ever it took to protect his friends and the people who where depending on him.

**Author's Note:**

> Got a little serious there at the end right... O_O I can't help it... the angst flows through me...


End file.
